


Surprising the Stags

by BuckinghamAlice



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Ain't no party like a Justice League party, DC Marriage Week, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:16:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckinghamAlice/pseuds/BuckinghamAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diana and Lois throw Bruce and Clark an "engagement party" that turns into a ridiculous surprise bachelor party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprising the Stags

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the terrible title.

It was supposed to be a simple, staid little engagement party at a polite little tea room. There had been no hint of what was to come, though there had been hints that the party’s hostesses – Diana and Lois – had more planned than a few champagne toasts and some cake. Because it wasn’t everyday that all their friends got together to celebrate the long overdue engagement of two such people as Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne. It had been hard to get them to agree to any sort of party as they had decided on a simple wedding and would have been content to do their celebrating at the reception, but their friends had all insisted that this occasion shouldn’t be ignored.

When the engagement party came to its natural end, Alfred drove Clark’s parents back to the manor, and Cass and Steph took Damian (as well as Tim and Conner) to a late movie. Once they had all gone, the two grooms prepared to leave as well, but Diana stopped them.

“Wait,” she urged. “There’s one little surprise coming for you.” The grooms exchanged suspicious glances but said nothing.

“Go,” Diana called out. They glanced around to see Babs make a quick swipe on her smart phone’s touch screen and they were suddenly surrounded by strobe lights and club music. Lois passed party hats to the guests. Wally carried a keg in, and Dick ran cheerfully after him holding two novelty party crowns, both of which had the word “groom” written in glitter across the front.

He approached his father-figure and stepfather-to-be and cheered, “Happy bachelor party!” as he placed the crowns on their heads.

Clark laughed and Bruce scowled. “We did say we didn’t want to do bachelor parties,” he said with his brow furrowed.

“Yeah, what is this?” Clark asked, though in a much less irritated tone than his intended.

Diana grinned. “We couldn’t let you get married without having one last night of debauchery and foolishness, as men like to do.”

“We just figured while we had you here for this stuffy engagement party we might as well have a little fun as well,” Lois added.

“This is perfectly ridiculous,” Bruce said with a sigh. But he relaxed when Clark put a hand on his shoulder.

“It is a little bit silly,” Clark said with a smile. “But they went to a lot of trouble for us. I suppose the least we could do is try to enjoy it.” He reached over and straightened Bruce’s groom crown and grinned at him.

“Fine,” Bruce sighed. “But you will personally make it up to me later.” Clark happily agreed.

Dick and Wally were setting up a game of quarters on one table as Hal climbed atop another, doing an awkward dance, much to Barry’s amusement. “All right,” he announced. “It just wouldn’t be a bachelor party without a little entertainment, would it?” A cheer went up that was loud enough to block out the music.

“I swear to God, if they’ve gotten a stripper…” Bruce began.

But the entertainment wasn’t a stripper. Jason and Roy, both wearing Rocky Horror looking gold booty shorts, entered from a side door and wiggled and gyrated to the beat of the music, amid yells and cheers.

Clark couldn’t help laughing, and when he looked at Bruce and saw that he was blushing redder than he’d ever seen him, he laughed even harder.

The game of quarters recommenced and record amounts of beer were consumed by everyone participating. Dick had made it his personal mission to beat Wally, but as everyone kept picking him to drink, he was getting drunker and louder and hardly remembered anymore what he was doing.

The two grooms kept to themselves in their seats off to the corner of the room, largely ignoring everything that was going on around them in favor of quietly talking over secret matters, discreetly holding hands, and laughing to themselves.

Eventually Lois came up to them and said, “Hey, you two aren’t boring old married men yet… you could actually try to participate in your party here.”

Clark smiled. “It’s a great party and we’re having a lot of fun. But we’re both kind of tired… and we’d really like to go home.”

“Oh, no!” Lois exclaimed. “Not yet. Not before the cake.”

“Cake,” Bruce repeated. “We just had cake at that engagement party you forced on us. And that thing was massive… most of it will be sitting in the freezer for weeks. No more cake.”

Ignoring him, Lois called out, “Hey, Diana! I think it’s time for the cake!”

“Oh, the cake!” she said happily as she elbowed Ollie. He smiled at Dinah and they hurried out of the room together. A moment later they came back carrying a pink bakery box and set it on the table.

“Come on, you two,” Diana said. “Come cut your cake.”

Clark took Bruce’s hand and dragged him over to where the cake was waiting for them. Dinah smiled and lifted it out of the box, and Bruce rolled his eyes when he saw that the cake was in the shape of a penis and was covered in shiny purple sprinkles.

Bruce turned to Clark and said, “If you try to smash any of that penis cake into my face, you will regret it for the rest of our lives.”

With a smile, Clark replied, “I’m sure there will be a great many things I regret for the rest of our lives. And I’m saving that cake in the face thing for the reception.”

Once the cake had been served and eaten, the drinking and dancing recommenced and the grooms took to their seats again and entertained themselves by laughing at their friends. The party’s hostesses pretended not to notice every time the two grooms kissed or gazed at each other too affectionately. They had been doing that a lot since they got engaged.

Of course, for the two of them, getting married was just them finally making official what had been a fact of their lives for a long time. Their friends realized that that was why they had insisted on everything being simple, but everyone felt that it was too big a deal that these two stubborn men were finally admitting that they needed each other to not celebrate every chance they got.

It took the party a couple of hours to wind down, and by the time the grooms got back to the manor, they were both exhausted. Clark was giving a very drunken Dick a piggyback ride (because he was too far gone to walk but not too far gone to reject being carried) and once they stepped into the foyer and the bright lights hit his eyes, he groaned and pressed his face into his stepfather-to-be’s back. “Oh, God, I’m never drinking again. And I’m never going to another bachelor party either.”

Bruce sighed. “With any luck, neither will I.”

Clark carried Dick up to his old room while Bruce checked in on the other children. Stephanie had fallen asleep on the couch and Damian had fallen asleep with his head in her lap. Tim and Cass had taken pictures of them and stuck them up all over the walls. Bruce smiled to himself at how furious Damian would be in the morning. Cass was sitting at the opposite end of the couch reading one of the books Babs had given her by the light of the muted TV. Well, she had been reading… she was now falling asleep with the book in her lap, looking just like a little princess. Tim was in bed snoring gently, wrapped around Conner, who was actually smiling sweetly in his sleep. Bruce had to roll his eyes at the fact that that expression reminded him very much of his fiancé. They’d have to have a talk with Tim and Conner about that sleeping together business, but that was a talk for another time.

Bruce and Clark met up in the hallway outside the boys’ bedrooms and walked hand in hand up the stairs to their bedroom on the third floor. “You know,” Clark began quietly, “I’m very happy I’m marrying you.”

Bruce gave him a soft smile and said, “As am I.”

Clark squeezed his hand and laughed softly. It was a private little laugh he only used with Bruce. “I was especially glad tonight that I was marrying _you_ , because if I was marrying anyone else you’d have probably been in on the planning of that bachelor party, and I’m not sure I could have handled it.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “You really think that if you were marrying someone else I’d be throwing you a party?”

“That may be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Clark replied.

“Don’t get used to it,” Bruce said with a smile as he wrapped his arms around Clark’s neck and Clark held onto his waist. “But it was a good party. Don’t tell them I said this, but that was probably the best bachelor party I’ve ever been to.”

“Because you spent it with me,” Clark said with a soft smile and a soft kiss.

“Yes,” Bruce said, closing his eyes. “Because I spent it with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I totally couldn't resist the fluffy romantic ending. And I wrote this in honor of DC marriage week last night/this morning and all you other superbat writers out there should also participate so our boys can have a happy ending. =)


End file.
